TIPS FOR A HAPPY ISLAMIC FAMILY

“Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!”(2:201)

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful. Peace and blessings be upon the Last Messenger, Muhammad ibn Abdullah, who is mentioned in the Qur’an as “And Verily, you (O Muhammad) are on an exalted (standard of) character.” (68:4) and from the assurance from his(pbuh) wife, Khadijah(raa), “…for you speak the truth, you are faithful in trust, you bear the afflictions of the people, you spend in good works from what you gain in trade, you are hospitable and you assist your fellow men.”

Never has a person walked on the Earth with such noble character nor could there be a person who could confidently say about himself, “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih). So let us acquire a few lessons from this perfect gentleman, may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him and his family.

Choosing the correct spouse

A successful happy family starts with choosing the right spouse. Allah (swt) mentioned in the Qur’an, “…They (your spouses) are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” (2:187). So, just as we carefully choose what to wear (for adornment, comfort, protection etc) we should choose our spouse more carefully.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”(Al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466)). There are far too many examples of how families fall apart due to incompetence between the married couples, therefore, choose wisely and proceed appropriately in an Islamic manner.

Genuine love and care for the family

A happy family requires love and care from both the parents. Showing love and affection to spouse and children is a source of Allah’s Mercy as we see from the following narration by Abu Huraira(ra) who said that Allah's Messenger (pbuh) kissed Al-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra' at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Messenger (pbuh) cast a look at him and said; "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997).

Showering our children with branded clothing or buying for them latest hand phones is not the way to show our love to them, in fact we can harm them by encouraging arrogance and open doors to Shaytan through unrestricted internet use. Give them your time, the most valuable asset, prepare for them healthy wholesome meals instead of just ordering from fast food restaurants, help them with their homework, this way you can really connect to them.

Surround your family life with acts of worship

Sometimes the only act of worship we can think about is prayers or fasting but the definition of worship is broad. In the house, allow children to watch only Islamic and educational cartoons. Most of the popular shows are made by people who themselves are not guided in fact some are anti-Islamic with a mission to corrupt the ideology of Muslim children. Allow children to use internet but in an open space where the screen is facing everyone, like in the living room.

Practice common duas like for waking up, sleeping, going in and out of washroom, eating, wearing dress etc. In this way the common actions also become acts of worship. When Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari).

When going out arrange visits not only to restaurants and cinemas rather go to the masjids, graveyards, visit someone sick from among relatives and friends, meet orphans at the orphanage – these visits will instil in you and your family with great gratitude to Allah (swt) for the immense blessings He has bestowed.

Staying away from sins and immorality

Sins will lead to family disunity and take away blessings. We all need entertainment, it is true, but allowing immorality in the name of “Entertainment” is a grave error. Allah mentions in the Qur’an : “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.”(66:6)

Sometimes we are cautious about our children and safeguard them from the evil and sins but unfortunately we ourselves are involved in numerous sins and immorality. We can delude ourselves that we are adults and can handle it or be responsible but at the end of the day, a sin is a sin, however we try to justify it. Sins and immorality will take away blessings from sustenance and will inevitably lead to a gloomy and unsuccessful life. Surrounding yourself with good company, forgiving others, developing interests in beneficial hobbies like gardening or cycling, listening about family history from the elders, having meals together, maintaining healthy balance between family and work are few tips to keep the family engaged in beneficial and productive activities.  

In the end, one has to remember that Allah(swt) is the source of all happiness and in His obedience is all that which is good. A happy Islamic family starts with choosing the correct spouse, leading the family life with love and care, surrounding all members with varieties of good deeds and staying away from sins and immorality. May Allah grant us all a happy Islamic life.

Ameen.

“Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!” (2:201)